The Audi Q5. The BMW X3. The Lexus UX. The Porsche Cayenne. I basically hate them all. They’re just saloons in shoe, pointlessly tall, pointlessly heavy and, as typically as not, geared up with meaningless off-road abilities that will never be utilized.

They are, to the world of cars, what those ₤ 19.99 gardening pants you see advertised at the back of The Daily Telegraph are to the world of style. Or what a fuel station pork pie is to the world of food. They’re low-ambition transport modules for people who simply want four wheels and a seat.

So I actually wasn’t expecting to enjoy my week in the Mercedes GLE. Especially as it arrived with AMG badging. Due to the fact that here is a huge seven-seater that